It's pretty late and here I am still wide awake facing my dear laptop. It's been 3 weeks since I've gave birth to little princess. And my responsibility has gain a step higher not only as a wife but also a mother to my beloved precious.

Watching them both sleep now really brings out tears to my eyes as I'm really thankful to have them both part of me. I can't imagine losing them or either 1. They are my pillars of happiness and smile.

As I watch my beloved husband fall asleep, I asked myself, where is he all these years. Why did we meet each other so late but fall in love so fast.. And this feeling came up. I've wasted my years with the wrong person till I met the right one which is him. We may have quarrels, misunderstandings and stupid arguments but when suddenly sparks came, it never felt bored as the love is still firing in us. And I shall say, we still crave for each others hugs and kisses although we never really say it.

Then there's my little princess. Eyes shut, sleeping peacefully with those innocent look. The pain I've endure to bringing her out to see this world is so unbearable. It's so painful and no wonder they say mothers are special people in our heart. And I bet ya it's true. The pain among all pains. Childbirth.

And 1 of those reasons is to still give my love and fullest attention to my own family. Especially my baby who needs all the attention she needs now.

To be frank, before I gave birth to her, the wildest thoughts I had was, will I ever wake up after my baby see the world. That's my biggest fear. I was afraid that I might not be there for her after she see's this sinful world. I'm afraid she might not have the chance to grow in my arms. I'm afraid I might just leave this world without hearing my child's first cry. But I told myself, I need to be strong. And I manage to endure the pain and here I am, still recovering from everything. And baby is growing on my arms every single day.

I use to wake up from her kicks or hunger but now I'm awaken by her cries. Leaving her for a moment would definitely hurt me deeply. Just like when she was admitted due to jaundice. The pain that she's going through it seems that I could really feel it. Now, I can actual understand what my mother feels.

For whatever reasons now, nothing else matter. In my eyes, they are my everything. My husband & daughter, they're the reason for me to live.

xoxo.