Thursday, November 26
he skype with me after drinking with his bunkmates..we talked and i just couldnt bring my eyes to look somewhere else but to stare at his eyes...
then he kept asking why i looked at him in such a way that makes him feel uncomfortable..seriously, i myself dun even know either...
he made me smile with his smile...but the longer i stare at him, i just feel like crying...why? why must we be fated knowing each other when we were far? he asked me,
"where were you all these while...."
what am i suppose to answer? i dun have the answers with me...
i couldnt hold back my tears and i cried. it really hurts me so bad to see him so near to me but he's nowhere in touch. it was like seeing he's face directly infront of me, as if he were really infront of me, but then when i realise reality, i cried again...
i cried and cried.. coz i know he wouldnt know what i feel...
and again he became the selfish person that i know..holding on to his emotions but letting off his anger to me..he was in pain, and im still in a situation where nobody understands me.. no one will...
have you ever loved someone whom you've never met, who won your heart virtually, who accepts you the way you really are, the one that see's your weakness as your strength, the ones that dun bother about beauty but cares about the heart? no you dun...
we were not given the choice to choose to meet each other or to stay far away, fate. blame it on fate..
everytime i just hope that he could actually understand how i feel. and the only thing i want right now is to see him right next to me, holding me so close to him and have nothing else in mind but just US.
i know he wouldnt understand...
:'(
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