Wednesday, October 21
i wasnt even sure what i was thinking am i doin it all the right way or am i being so dumb naive. it's hard to be stuck in the middle of decisions where u r left stranded all alone wif choices all in your very own hands. my feelings seems to be mixed up by all the emotions i kept for so long. now the trauma is back here with me. afraid to fall in love but i did. afraid to be in a relationship but i wish to commit.
the soft yet screeching voice of influences came tearing my brain apart to step out of the border and face reality. choose sumtink tat wasnt even sure i could be with. sumtink tat i hv to live my life wif lies and regret. but the angelic whispers me your name gavng me the strength to stand right back up and hold to the promise i made. i know i love u so much n tat feeling can nvr be changed. u mean to much to me. u r my reality. although our love is still pending fantasy. i know. we can be hapi.
as much as i wan to be wif u is how much i really want to wait for u.
i cant choose any other. i cant turn my heart to another person but u. although i know hw much he wanted me to be his, tats hw much i still wanna stick wif u. its nt as easy as it seems coz u r far away baby. but still the more i think of u the more i wanna hold on to u. although he is right here so near, to me he has so much things to know n so many things to understand. u r far yet i feel ur heart is so near.
i cant bear to hv a change of heart n turn my back to u. i promised u. n tat promise will remain forever.
please be back soon dear. i cant bear this situation alone facing life here all by myself. coz i'm really afraid i might do the wrong step n break ur heart. i cnt bear to hurt u. i cnt bear to break ur heart. i cant bear to lose u.
i may be happy as happy as always, but deep down no one knows where my heart actually belong. its not here. it's stolen by you and i dunwan u to return it. u can have it all u wan but pls dun break it.
to that sum1 here in sg, i dun wish to hurt u or anybody else.. u said u wanna see me happy, and nw i'm telling u i'm happy if u could understand how much i love khair. please dun snatch me away frm him. i dun wish to be apart from him. please. understand me. as much as u wan me to be with u, thats still too little compared to hw much i wanna be wif him...
lets just be memories.
i love ♥ khair only....please cum home soon.
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