Syimah'Zara MsBintang @ Blogger
He is turning 23 today and i just wish him all the best in whatever he do.
Although now we no longer can be togather i just hope the best for you. The truth i know i can't get over you. You mean so much to me. Damn much. But how sad that things have to end this way. Maybe it's just fated that we were not meant for each other. Let memories erase by itself. Let me slowly forget 05 June 09. I dun expect you to come back to me, i dun expect you to say you love me. All i ever wanted was your honesty. That's all.
Moments ago...
I text angah @ his handphone to wish him a simple birthday wish. And it turn out to be a very emotional conversation. I have nothing to hide from you readers, so here goes...
Me : Hapi Bday!
Him : Thnk alot..im sori o mintak putus bkn krane yati k tkmu sala phm..sal i terlalu bynk masalah n i tknk tamba2 lagi..hope u can forgive me.
Me : Dah la.. i tak tau nk ckp aper lagik kat u, I knw its all about her..i wont find u anymore k..everything seems so wrong..tc je ah..
Him : I da blng k BKN sal DIE..up to u tk caya k.
Me : If u maseh matair i , i would trust u..tapi skrg U bkn my guy k..masalah leh settle same2, tapi u yg buat keputusan nk settle sendiri..i da pujok u, u maseh ego. so i tknk hegeh2 lagik..buatpe i nk kejar kn org yg belom tentu maseh sygkan i..
Him : Ya la ckp je la i tk tentu syg kn u..im in wrong k..juz taking care k. i wish hope leh dpt guy yg da tentu syg kn u k.
Me : Memang ader ramai, cume i dunno y i stil choose u n hope 4 u so much.. so nemind 4get it..
Him : Im realy2 sori to make u hurt alot..hope 1 fine day we cn gt back 2gether..
Me : I hope so larh u..i just miss u so much..
Him : Me too. kite kn masi leh mit lagi. if i nga free..coz i da nk start 2 keje..
Me : U sorg keje? Then me> TAkpelah.. It will all b mcm dulu lagik..like hw i just knl u..
Him : Tk phm u..
Me : yelar.. mase kite baru knl, 1 week jumpe skali 2 jek..n in d same time u cntct mcm2 org n also mit them..biler da matair i cleh control u takmo mit n cnct them..n nw u da patah alek jadi sgl..prasan dier lain..u da bebas nk buat sesuke ati u mcm dulu..it hurts b 2 b tiz way..
Him : I break dgn u bkn krane 2 sey..mana ada time nk mcm dulu i nk settle ma masala sey 2 yg important tau..
Me : Settle masalah tkle same2? buatpe i jdi matair u if i cnt help u?
Him : Memang u matair i tapi i realy tknk u join d prob coz ni semua i yg buat masala so hv 2 tanggong..
Me : Psl tu u kene tglkn i? Ape slh klu u maseh matair ngan i tapi u ckp u nk settle sendiri? Then u bleh msg yatie ckp u dah sgl? U mcm nk sgt sey u..
Him : Die tany me sey bkn i terus bilang die..i angap die kwn i je sey..
Me : Kite pon skrg dah start kwn pe..u buat pape pon i cume leh sakit ati...
Him : Tapi tak sala lau u nak halang i..i still dun mind..
Me : I nk halang u jumpe pompan lain? Im nobody to u sey...
Him : U i kn kata i dun mind..
Me : Entahlah u..iterlalu sygkan u, u tau tk? i just cnt stop crying for u..
Him : U...I tol2 sori i hurt u alot..hope kita tkmu lost cnct eh..
Me : Entahlah u.. i dpt msg u, i hapi giler tau..tapi in d same time sedih...
Him : Haiz..ireally takde niat sey nk hurt u make so sad sey...
Me : Bende da jadi pon..i tkle buat pape...
Him : Can we cntct like normal??
Me : I tak kesah coz i maseh sygkan u mcm dulu sey u...
and the conversation continues... with me replying each msg with airmata jatoh none stop..How emotional i can get? that much. i could be very emotional wen it cums to sumthing tat i really treasure most.
It gets tougher if u are still msging me.
I just cnt bear to lose u. But i already did so i guess its better i just let go, totally go.
Btw happy birthday loves ♥
