Syimah'Zara MsBintang @ Blogger
♥ As days past, i could actually see how much i need you more and more in my life. I could forget the past so easily and your face seem to grow much clearer in my mind. I cant find any reason to hate it but you made me smile every single second when i'm with you.
Although most of the time it felt very painful to see the ones you love been lying to you, i kept telling myself, forgive him. I cant deny it that i'm being naive towards this. But i dun wish to quarrel and end up losing everything.
We've met too often i guess that you made me fall head over heels for you. And when you said you wanted me to be your girl, i was shock, excited but mostly afraid. I guess you should have known why.
Why i took so long to think. Why i think too much.
But the answer was all with you. You know what you did all along to make me feel so afraid to move on a step with you. But frankly, you were all along in my mind...
I cant control my emotions whenever i see things that i shouldnt be seeing in your handphone. But you manage to give me explainations which i dunno true or not to make me cool down.
I remember 1 time when i saw the msg in your handphone, i couldnt control my feelings, i walk off from your place. Without you knowing i cried all the way back home.
Westside all the way to northside.. Imagine how i face the public with tears rolling down my cheek. I felt really cheated. All i did for you was just a waste to u. I brought myself up not to think negatively. I told myself, it was just a msg. But deep down it's killing me so hard that we argued over this for a long time.
I never want to argue with you. I was afraid it might lead up to something that's worse.
How i wish we were as happy as what we were wen we just met.
But now slowly, you are convincing me that you really wanna be with me, but im not totally convinced.
I use to say i dun wish to commit in any relationship after this that's why i kept silent whenever you did something wrong.
Have the time of your life while you are just atch and not married. That was what i said.
But then i realise it's painful to see you contacting them. I'm glad that you said you have stop, but i know not to all of the girls. Not to you ex.
I could actually sense that you still love her. Sometimes i wished that you could actually admit it to me.
Now that i know how much i need you in my life, and i realise i need nothing else but you. But i know you wont understand how much i feel towards you...
Time will tell...
Or maybe i'm just hoping too much for you and "it" to happen..
You'll always be my baby....
