Syimah'Zara MsBintang @ Blogger
At a point of time, all of us will be left with choices to make. And there's only 1 that we can choose. In my life, not only that i learn, the meaning, i myself faced the meaning of love, trust, understanding, honesty, and appreciation.. Look around me, the world is evolving.. Everything seems so peaceful and has it changes from time to time. I felt i was the only 1 left behind with just an empty mind wondering what will happen next. It was as if i was left there alone wit a piece of paper and pen. That's the only things that accompany me througout my whole entire lonely journey.
I was suppose to write what will happen in my life. Im holding on to the pen and i have all the power in the world to actually lead my own life. There's too much to write, but very little time was given. The time is leaving me behind. It never waits.. I struggle to make a choice in life, to make my life wealthy with money but suffer with no love, or starve but love is all around me.. Tough choice. Hunger or luxuries...
Realising i was actually closing my eyes, i began to realise, the fantasy can never become reality. Face the reality once and for all. Pick the path that actually satisfy me..
I made mistakes in life. Mistakes that nobody could ever imagine. Mistakes that actually tear reputation apart. I regret it, i cried for it. But whatever happens, i can never turn back time. Maybe it would be hard for people to see me this way, but it was harder for me to actually face the pain and the emotional pain threw against me. Once again, i couldnt blame anyone. I made the path look interesting to everyones eye but i was standing at the edge of the cliff, waiting for a very soft blow from the wind to actually end everything..
I could never find anybody and i mean anybody who could actually face the same thing that i face. 2008. A very hectic year for me. A year tat is full of sins. I made mistakes. I'm very remorsful.
The day that i find my happiness back is the day he actually pull me out of the thorns of life. Eventhough he hurts me, i couldnt bear to be more hurt. I can never be more regretfull seeing him walk off leaving me behind. I want to be part of him.
I was still left with 1 empty space in the paper.. the rest was just some mistakes and more mistakes.. Now i leave it to him.. Life is fair, but we are the 1's who can't seem to make the correct choice.. I'm sori for my past mistakes. If i could turn back time, none of these hurtings would ever happen.. And there'll be lots of space for us to restart this life..
Now it's left wit just you and me, i really hope you'll treasure it.. Coz if anything happens, i wont blame u. I just wont be able to forgive myself..
God's will. Everything is going to be just fine..
Insyaallah~
