Thursday, December 4
feeling sleepy now. dunno y la kan. raining so maybe sleep lagik bagos.
few days ago quarrel with bf serabak-rabak nyer. but as u can see, he will say, alah.... nk senyum tu senyum je lah. so basically i cnt hear wen he says tat. comferm2 ku senyum. nomatter how angry i am.
then cant remember wat date, the nxt day kiter gado lagik.
aku penat serious shit.
aku tak tido tgu dier beh ckop time dier maki ku. saper tk sot kan.
so i kept asking him tak penat pe hari2 bertekak?
and for u ppl info, i have another diary as in a real hand written diary. n tat diary is actually suppose to be only read by me n only me. but then bf saw tat book in my closet. so aku pon wonder2 lah asl lamer nah dier kat bilik aku kan. n wen i went in he was reading it.
u know, i was like OMG! mesti dier mengamok nyer... die.. die.. die..!
but then when i snatch the book, he gave me a tight slap. hahahah! aku tipu lah!!!!
when i snatch the book he look at me with a guilty look and say sori like upteen time sey. he then pelok aku sekuat-kuat nyer n believe me i cant actually breath lah.. almost choke by his hug. so imagine how kuat tat was. n like since the last quarrel was the 15th time we quarrel secare besar-besaran, i like cant accept it lah..
mcm in my mind i kept thinking will he change? i mean,
my guy is nt those playa with girls around him. not those guys who will look at girls more then 2sec. serious. he dun make eye cntct to any girls. accept for me, his family lah.. the only thing tat bothers me is his ego. it can really make me stres up. so i was like in the edge of everything evritime we quarrel. but still i cant let him go. n he will nvr let me go.
guys, wat can we expect kan. pompan yg slalu kene mengalah. sampai i feel like im such a loser. begging love from sum1. tapi i know, i can only live wif him. he's just diff. i see him everywhr so mcm nk benci pon susah tau tak.. when i watch tv at home his pic n me on a A4 size frame beside the tv, when i use my lappy , another photo of us kat sbelah lappy, bukak wallet a pic of us. msg my gf, his photo as wall paper. so his smile really make me smile. senang ckp korg tgok gambar dier kat page nie lah kan..
anyway since he already read my personal diary, i really hope wish berdoa so tat he will realise his mistake. slagi i can stand beside him n hold him to the end i will, i dunwan biler org kate tu " dah terantok baru nk tersadar ". well, my bf is nt a bad guy. like i say, no girls nothing. just some attitude issues tat he really need to work on.
and yes.. we are working hard to make tiz happen. n bf know how stress already i am at home with stupid stepfather who is remoting everybodies movement. and recently, bf told me tat he will work hard, very hard simpan duit and bring me out of the hse.. klu korg phm lah. tak phm? bukan lari rumah gondolsz! marry me n lead our own lifes.
its hard korg tau tak living a life whr u only see ur bf like once in a blue moon. and hw i wish i could actually spend time with him like how other spend time wif thier love ones. i knw. korg mesti pikir, klu bf tak jumpe sgt mesti slh sorg main giler. wat i can say is, bapak korg giler boDO!!!
me 24/7 at home, bz pon tgok dvd, house chores n jage little fasha. so basically aku takde mase nk cinta cintan ngan jantan lain. 1 takle jage ader hati nk carik lain. like bf plak, i dun believe he would play behind my back. ns life. he cant get rest tau tak. psl stupid mas selamat whom ran away from prison, bf ku kene jage2 sg nie. bodo ah ni mas selamat susahkn hidop org jek. if nt bf would have a lot of time nt only me but also his family. sp basically we have no time for anybody else but our relationship n family. so nak dating2 yg lain tu time lambat weng~
haishhh... y must GOD make it so hard for us...?
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