Wednesday, June 18
Dear beloved hubby,
Like i said, i love u. I have repeated that for almost 12425 times since the first time i met u. And you know what? I'm still going to say it till our very last breath together. Dear, never i kept or have the thought to leave this relationship or dumb you for another guy. I know i can't find any other better guy other then you. Our first meeting may not be as special as some other people but the love u gave me is the best of all.
We didn't know that we will meet in this situation. A situation that no other guy could accept me. A situation where i can't accept u that easily. But you showed your sincerity to me. Honesty & sincerity is always what i wanted from a guy. And only a guy with those can live with me till my very last breath. I always thought guys are just species that is created by God to make any girls life any worser. The species that is created only to play with girls feeling. But you proved me wrong. You proved to me that not all guys are piece of jerk. Not all but majority are. I'm so glad that i found you and you are so far different then them. I'm lucky enough to have found you and you wanting me to be the one that will spend the rest of your life with. I can't believe that i actually got you, i mean you are like a pearl. I have to go through the deepest ocean just to have someone as special as you.
It's a miracle that i found my life partner at such a place. A place where i earned myself a bowl of rice, a place where i meet different kinds of guys from different walks of life. But it's still an unsuitable place to fall in love. I always know that guys that i meet at these places can never be trusted because they appear before us just to get what satisfy them the most then leave. That's the reason why i never trust you in the first place.
I never really know u were eye-ing on me. Especially when u said its from the first time i have been working there, it got me laughing my as out. Means few months back before you actually contact me. I was pretty shock but not convinced to your words. As you can see, people will go to a certain extend to impress the person they want. You didn't impress me at all, i mean you didn't force yourself to impress me. But as time flies, you climb up slowly in my chart. I then start to realize how much you care for the person you know in fact, you loved. I may know you for just two short weeks that moment but i never got tired talking to you on the phone till next morning. You were such a good listener. But still i wasn't convinced. Anybody could be a good listener because they don't really face or feel what we are going through.
Flashback~
The very first time we went out together. Till now every time i think about it, it makes me smile. It was the sweetest and most mesmerizing moment of my life. That was the day when i hear you sang the song that really makes me head-over-heels for you baby. And shockingly you fell for me when i sang a song that till now you still loves to hear me sing. The most emotional and hard-to-forget moment was when we sat by the connector at Tampines. The very first time i cried in front of you. Every word you said still have a strong impact in my life. Remember the story about the shoe? That makes me burst into tears whenever i think about it. Only you and i know the story. I was in a very tough situation when we talk about that. But that moment of time, i was keeping the biggest secret away from you. The toughest decision have to be made as soon as possible. When i got home, the pressure got higher. I never got into this kind of situation before. So i got really stress up about it. I really have to make my decision.
-To keep the secret away from you.
-To pretend nothing is wrong.
-To tell you the secret and lose you forever.
-To tell you the truth and avoid you forever.
And i then i made the right decision. I never wanted anyone else to know my problem. Because i never want to trouble anyone's life. But in these situation, my instincts told me to just tell you the secret. And if fate was at my side, i'll never lose you, someone that i love most. But if fate wasn't on my side, then i'll never regret telling the truth and have to accept that you are leaving me. Forever.
My heart was beating very fast when i told you the secret the very next day. I didn't stop crying because i know, i will lose you forever. Nobody can ever accept a girl who is facing this problem. I was so sure you would leave me after knowing the truth. You was so traumatize with what i've told you. And i felt so guilty for hurting your feelings. You hung up the phone and the whole conversation just like that and told me to meet you if i really loved you. Obviously i really do love you, so i did. We met and head for Changi Beach. Silence was what i face when i met you that day. The guilt in me suddenly conquers my whole emotion. I was speechless but yet i didn't want to lose that opportunity to apologize. I owe you an apologize for making you disappointed by your needs. I guess that would be our last meeting together but it wasn't.
Dear, you accepted me for who i am. You were willingly to face my problem as if it was yours. You pressure yourself and put the weight on your back. You sacrifice your time with me. You took care of my well-beings. You understand my feelings. We shared tears and laughter facing this toughest obstacle. And you never give up standing by my side. You never failed to make me smile. For the very first time someone actually see the real me. And that was you. You saw the sorrows and pain in my eyes. You felt the trouble through my laughter and smiles. We face lots of arguments and misunderstandings while settling this problem. We even gained more problems while settling it. About your mum, my career, publicity. We cried and and was almost over the edge finding for solutions. You felt the pain that i felt. You wipe the tears that i cried.
And when the surgery time comes, the person that i really wanted by my side was you. Because i know nobody can feel the pain that I'm going to feel other then you. You were all the way with me throughout the whole process and i was really grateful to that. For a moment, my heart stops beating. I flashback all the sacrifices and all the things that we face. I was so touched. I still cry whenever i think of you.
For now, that I'm officially yours, all i think is our future together. I want to pursue my dreams with the one that proves his life for me and that is you. Dear, please don't ever think negative of me. We have faced the biggest obstacle, i don't want it to be a waste. I don't take you for granted. I appreciates you from within. I never have the thought to find someone else. I know nobody can replace you ever. My promise to you is always kept in my mind. I'm willing to sacrifice anything as long as i don't lose you. I just don't know what to do if i were to lose you. To me you are irreplaceable dear. No money can repay your kindness as sacrifices. For your info, I'm sacrificing my life to be with you till my very last breath. Only that can prove how much i really do love u.
Dear,
Nothing and nobody in this world can stop me from loving you greater each single day. I never had a bad impression about you since the first day i fell in love with you. I accept all negatives comments about you from all expect. Especially your past. But there's a reason why they are called your past. Because they couldn't make it to your future. There's no reason why i should believe these people. And whatever they said may have hurt me, but i simply won't fall for it. I trust you. I'm facing my future with you. So what's past let them past, i won't be bothered by them or their comments at all. They can keep on hurting me, but i won't get much more hurt then losing you. Words can't break these relationship. Trust me.
And dear, remember you said that you have a few wish list? One of your wish were to make me the mother to your children. I'm so excited to hear that. For the first time, i want you to know that, with open arms, I'm glad to say that i too wants you to be the father to my children in future. I want my children to know how sweet their father is and i want my generation to continue with your name. I'm serious about this.
So now, we will just have to wait for the happiest day in our life dear. Don't worry, i won't step away from your life. I belong to you now. And only you can call me wifey. Love you dearest hubby:)
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